Break It To Me Gently

How do you politely tell the proud parents that their child looks like a monkey?

Beware! Criminal

The Deadbeat Club has a lurker.

The son of a gun only visits one particular post.

Quite interesting, isn't it?

If you are who I think you are, I want to tell you something.

I miss smashing your face.

Leave me a message. Let's meet up. Soon.

Post script: Pssst. I know where you live.

Crazy For You

My friend in the office and I are obsessed with Kentucky Fried Chicken.

For the past two weeks, all we had for lunch was their lip smackingly good and stroke inducing poultry products.

Although I gave up rice last April and lost a few inches off my waist, my recent food odyssey would guarantee the return of the gut.

Thank you, Colonel Sanders. It was all worth it.

Help Is On The Way

Just how insensitive can Raft3r get?

Continue reading to find out.

A friend called asking for a favor.

Friend: "You interested in donating blood? My officemate's father needs a blood transfusion."

Raft3r: "Can I just ask out your officemate on a date to lessen her worries?"

My friend immediately hung up the phone.

Clueless

When a man, who you hardly know and is not even your friend, sends you text messages about his whereabouts and even tells you that he is on his way home, what does that mean?

Keep On Walkin'

At least three people have commented on how Raft3r walks.

One said I walk like a penguin.

The other alleged that I limp when I walk.

Third one claimed I walk like Feng Shui's Lotus Feet.

Damn! And I thought I had the perfect catwalk for a male supermodel.

How It Feels

We all make mistakes. We are humans, after all.

If you are a regular reader of The Deadbeat Club, you know (for a fact) that Raft3r continues to live a life of trial and error.

Now, imagine your biggest blunder being aired on national television for everyone's entertainment.

You turn into an instant celebrity. A hate page on Facebook is created in your honor. You become the target of ridicule.

Mistakes are there for a reason.

But I don't think they are made so you can become the butt of all jokes.

Praise You

Instead of idolizing panty-less celebrities, cocaine sniffing socialites, and an ungrateful starlet, our youth should emulate Janela Lelis of Malinao, Albay.

What she did was a selfless act, as opposed to someone who recently resigned due to an impending ouster from the Senate.

This 12 year old girl is incredible. She makes me even prouder to be a Filipino.

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

But most of the time you can.

You don't need a partner to be complete.

Friends and lovers are mere accessories in the game of life.

In The Company Of Wolves

Overheard from the recent Incubus' concert:

"Maghuhubad yan. (He's gonna disrobe.)"

"Brandon, take your shirt off!."

"I love you, Brandon!"

These were actual statements made by men.