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What if:1. Pacman did not win against Cotto;2. the Philippines has not been devastated by Ondoy and his friends;3. GMA never became President;4. the starlet never switched networks;5. polygamy is not a crime;6. there is only ONE religion;7. Janet’s wardrobe malfunction did not occur;8. Palin won as Vice President;9. The Deadbeat Club never existed.Would the world be a better place?Post script: If is one of Janet’s 19 #1 songs in Billboard Hot Dance chart. It is the second single from the janet. album.
In my plight to be leaner before the Holiday Season, the kids and I headed to a hotel lunch buffet on Veteran’s Day.Raft3r had 2 plates of rib eye steak with a small serving of lechon on the side, a couple of lobsters, 5 scoops of ice cream, a fruit platter, and 2 slices of blueberry cheesecake.I could have gone on and on and ate like crazy. But I am on a diet. I think.Post script: Doesn’t Really Matter, the theme song to her hit movie The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, is but one of Janet’s ten #1 singles in the Billboard Hot 100. The single is also included in her All For You CD.
Raft3r has a new pastime.It is watching girls eat. Seriously, I am hooked.There is something sexy about women and their mouth. It is not just the lips that Raft3r finds attractive, but the entire mouth.It all started with Leighton Meester. Yes, that hot chick from Gossip Girl. I saw her eat an entire plate of pasta on TMZ. It was one of the best TV moments EVER. Watching Leighton open her mouth is quite orgasmic. That is one lucky fork, I tell you.With more than five (5) hours to spare before flying back to Manila, I headed to The Venetian for a quick bite and some girl watching.Chinese women eat really FAST. They chew rather quickly and open their mouth really wide when eating. Pinays, on the other hand, are far more reserved. They chew their food slowly and open their mouth very discreetly when eating.Of course, these are all hasty generalizations. All women have different ways of eating. Some devour their food like there is no tomorrow. That is such a huge turnoff. Others eat with a lot of grace and composure. That is more of Raft3r’s taste.It’s fascinating to watch women eat. It’s no rocket science. But it’s a glimpse inside their psyche.Raft3r’s oral fixation has sprung. Post script: The Pleasure Principle is the sixth single taken off Control which sold over 14 million albums worldwide.
The three (3) hour flight to Macau was excruciating.Thanks to an infant boy and his mother, everyone on board Flight 5J 362 was in for a treat.Not only did Madonna and child delay our take off for more than half an hour, baby boy cried and screamed at the top of his lungs for the entire duration of the flight.It was like being trapped in baby hell. As fate would have it, Raft3r was seated next to the crying rugrat. The devil baby was like the Energizer bunny. He just won’t quit. Not once did he stop crying. When we touched down, I immediately took my bag and headed to Immigration. A couple of minutes later, Raft3r heard the familiar cry. The kid was just behind me and still howling.He just wouldn't let up. You got to admire the kid for his persistence, though.Post script: Son Of A Gun samples Carly Simon’s You’re So Vain. It is the last single from All For You which sold more than seven (7) million copies worldwide.
Everyone hates a quitter, right?But there comes a point in life when you just have to stop trying.That doesn’t mean you are a failure.It’s just a realization that there are certain things that we cannot change.This includes my inability to lose weight.Post script: Accept Me is the B-side to Every Time. The latter is the sixth single off The Velvet Rope CD which sold more than 10 (ten) million copies worldwide.
As my wife once said, “Relax. It’s just sex.”1. Whisper sweet nothings to her.2. Role play.3. Slowly stroke her thighs.4. Bubble bath.5. Striptease.6. Nibble her ears.7. Sensual massage.8. Play with her belly button.9. Watch erotic movies together.10. Lick whip cream off each others' bodies.11. Blindfold her.12. Play with her babies using ice.13. Tease her endlessly.14. As background music, listen to Janet’s “Anytime, Anyplace.”15. The tongue is a great communicator.16. Caress her knees.17. Kiss her like it’s the only thing that matters.18. Rough it up a bit.19. Tell each others' fantasies.20. Read her a funny post from The Deadbeat Club. (Trust me. This one really works!)Post script: Twenty Foreplay is the second single from Janet’s first greatest hits album, Design Of A Decade, which sold more than ten (10) million copies worldwide.
On the first of November, Raft3r spent the whole day with three (3) elder members of the family. The young ones were out and about in the beaches of Tacloban. Lucky bastards.We visited the cemetery to pay respect to our dearly departed.
Elderly 1 is always angry. Elderly 2 is always irritating. Elderly 3 is always chatty.1 and 2 are always at odds. Today was no exception. They fought about everything – from the way 2 walks to the way 1 overreacted when 2 scolded a household help. 3 chimed in and joined the fun. It was one huge circus and we were at a very public place.The decibels of their voices were more than enough to break glass. Take that, Mariah!Don’t get me wrong. I love my family to pieces. But like everyone else’s brood, mine is pretty dysfunctional.Spending time with my family is like watching a really terrible movie. You know it’s bad for you. But you still stay glued just to see how it all ends.Post script: To celebrate my wife’s Greatest Hits CD (out November 17), all month’s posts are named after Janet songs. Whoops Now is the bonus track from the janet. album which sold over twenty (20) million copies worldwide.
As I watched two middle-age men battle it out in the tennis court, a friend saw U2 in concert.While I tried to figure out what toys to buy my nieces, an acquaintance contemplated on how to become a better citizen of our great Nation.As I hurriedly posted a new entry in The Deadbeat Club, a fellow blogger purchased his own domain.While hanging out with friends in Macau, a grade school batch mate was roaming around New York with his buddies.As I unravel the “on again/off again” status of my present relationship, a neighbor is busy preparing for her December wedding.This was how Raft3r spent the past seven (7) days. The comparisons were based on the numerous shout-outs plastered all over Facebook.Suddenly, my life seemed so insignificant.I may be the star(let) of my own show. Though many others have far more interesting plots and intriguing twists than I can offer.I better shake off this feeling. Self-loathing doesn’t suit Raft3r.
There are only three (3) things in this world that scare the shit out of Raft3r.To wit: (a) frogs, (b) commitment, and (c) heights.For 90MOP, I managed to accomplish the third fear factor.Raft3r and two of his daredevil friends visited the Macau Tower.I did not bungee jump nor did the sky walk. I am way too much of a sissy to even attempt those.The main observation deck, which is on the 58th floor, is frightening enough.Some of the tower’s steps are glass panels (from which you can see the view from below). Perfect! Imagine stepping on these monsters.
Sadly, Halloween came early for Raft3r.
Yummy Friend and I were supposed to spend Thanksgiving together in New York.We had everything planned out including all the side trips we were gonna take.Now due to recession, only one of us is going on that trip – and it is not Raft3r.Over lunch, we mutually decided to ditch our travel plan. Yummy Friend will now be pursuing a solo Thanksgiving adventure. She is currently mapping her San Francisco travel.That place is awesome. My all time fave Pinoy flick was shot there, as well.The Big Apple invasion has been rescheduled to fall of 2010. Next year’s New York escapade is definitely something to look forward to. Laieesha is joining us, too.Raft3r always enjoys a threesome.
What if:
