skip to main |
skip to sidebar
These are just some of the stuff I got for Christmas. More DVDs and CDs to add to Raft3r’s ever growing collection.And yes, those are four copies of the wifey’s new CD. The boy from Mali Bay is very happy.Happy Holidays to all the awesome readers of The Deadbeat Club!!!
Post script: Please bear with me. My WiFi has conked out on me. I will bloghop really soon. Thanks.
Free will is probably one of the best things God gave to mankind.Because of this gift,we can choose between right and wrong, good and evil, black and white, and so on.Following this premise, Raft3r cannot be compelled to:1. render overtime work on weekends;2. save for a rainy day;3. finish his law degree;4. accept all friend requests on Facebook;5. talk about his so-called feelings;6. enjoy Julia Roberts chick flicks;7. publicize his good deeds;8. stop watching porn;9. like YOU.
Raft3r is a godfather to twenty six children.Yes, you read that right. 26. That is no typographical error.I do not know what possessed their parents to designate me with such a tremendous responsibility.I could hardly be made accountable for my own actions. How could others think I can take care of their children in cases of emergency?Due to the huge volume of Christmas presents Raft3r had to buy, shopping started as early as September. All twenty six godchildren are now accounted for.They say Christmas is for kids. The young ones get all the gifts. Adults do all the spending.This is one instance when being a grown up sucks.
Raft3r spent an hour with an Indian call center agent and an old near deaf American lady with a nasal defect (i.e. ngongo).It was a three way phone conversation. To say that the entire encounter is challenging would be an understatement.Both women could not understand each other. There were a lot of yelling. Raft3r acted as the middle man. The Indian was the first to wave the white flag. She asked, “What language is she speaking?” I answered, “English.”That was how I spent (part of) my day. How was yours?
With presents wrapped and Noche Buena fast approaching, Raft3r bestows his Holiday wishes to the following:1. Marian Rivera – You are almost perfect. A speech/language course is in order.2. Janet Jackson – A major comeback worthy of your iconic stature.3. The Bitch – A landslide loss in the upcoming election.4. Jodie Foster – A third Oscar and a new hit movie.5. Pinoy politicians – Time to finally grow a conscience.6. Maguindanao Massacre victims – May real justice be served.7. Tiger Woods – A sense of contentment.8. Manny Pacquiao – Focus on what your good at. I am not referring to women, of course.9. The Starlet – None. Kokey is your Karma.
She did it again.Just like the devil baby, GMA refuses to give up.Gloria, everyone’s favorite politician, has filed her candidacy for the Lower House. Like a moth to a flame, our beloved President is holding on to power - any which way she can.There are so many words to describe GMA and her acts. But it’s the Christmas Season.We should be kind, even to Satan’s helpers.
Raft3r received a proposal.Stop right there.It is not the kind of proposal you are thinking of. I am not getting hitched.Someone propositioned Raft3r to be the father of her child.I had a lot of crazy proposals in the past. Hell, even indecent ones. But this one definitely took top honors.I won’t go much into details to protect her anonymity. For a while there, it got me thinking.Is Raft3r a baby maker or a manwhore?
Janet is this generation’s Obi-Wan Kenobi.She has the perfect answer to every imaginable question.Consider the following:On education – “We’ve gotta teach our kids to read and write. That’s the only way to win this fight for life.” The Knowledge, Rhythm Nation 1814On self worth – “We all have the need to feel special. It is this need that can bring out the best in us yet the worst in us.” Twisted Elegance, The Velvet RopeOn life – “Livin’ everyday like it’s my last. I refuse to be stuck in the past. So just enjoy and celebrate.” Enjoy, 20 Y.O.On sex – “Tie me up. Tie me down. Make me moan so loud.” Rope Burn, The Velvet RopeOn abstinence – “Let's just take our time. With love so good, we shouldn't rush it. We need to slow it down.” Let’s Wait Awhile, ControlOn love – “You are the one that lives in me, my dear. I want no one but you.” I Get Lonely, The Velvet RopeOn individuality – “In complete darkness we are all the same. It is only our knowledge and wisdom that separate us. Don’t le your eyes deceive you.” Livin’…In Complete Darkness, Rhythm Nation 1814On racism and gender inequality– “Because of my gender I heard no too many times. Because of my race I heard no too many times. But with every no I grow in strength. That is why African American woman I stand tall with pride.” New Agenda, janet.On past relationships – “When I lay with you I close my eyes, I'm thinkin' bout my ex. When I'm touching you gently, I'm thinkin' bout my ex. While you talk to me I drift away, I'm thinkin' bout my ex. When you ask me what I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin' bout my ex.” Thinkin’ About My Ex, Damita JoOn partying – “We go deep and we don’t get no sleep. Cause we’ll be up all night until the early light.” Go Deep, The Velvet RopeOn traveling – “I woke up with an Australian breeze. Under the moon glow down in Mexico I dreamed. Springtime in Paris feels so good to me. It'll be fun walking in the rain in Spain.” Runaway, Design Of A DecadeOn fame and stardom – “Do you like me? Do you want me? Just for what you see? Do you think that I'm that person you watch on TV? There's another side that I don't hidebut might never show.” Damita Jo, Damita JoOn death – “Everywhere I go, every smile I see, I know you are there smiling back at me.” Together Again, The Velvet RopeOn nation building – “People of the world unite. Strength in numbers we can get it right.” Rhythm Nation, Rhythm Nation 1814On wealth and spirituality – “There is nothing more depressing than having everything and still feeling sad. You have to learn to water your spiritual garden.” Sad/Special, The Velvet RopeOn career aspiration – “Do movies. I do dance. Do music. I love doin' my man,” Damita Jo, Damita JoPost script: Call On Me is the lead single of 20 Y.O. and Janet’s 16th number 1 hit on Billboard’s Hot R&B Charts.
Chelsea Handler is one funny lady.I have subscribed to her podcast in iTunes and regularly watch Chelsea Lately.
Raft3r and Chelsea are also friends in Facebook. Ah, the wonders of technology.Although Handler's humor is not at all groundbreaking (jokes about Asians, Mexicans, midgets, gays, et. al.), her delivery is impeccable. Her round table discussion with fellow comedians about today’s celebrity gossip is a hoot. I die laughing just watching them. One thing I like about Handler is her take no prisoner attitude. Chelsea says what she wants and does not give a damn. It’s pure entertainment bliss. She pokes fun at everything and everyone – including herself. Ms. Lately has already victimized Mariah Carey, John Mayer, the Olsen Twins, and a slew of other celebs. Chelsea is game for anything.Just don’t call her baby. It’s Chelsea. Ms. Handler, if you’re nasty.Post script: Nasty has been certified gold for sales of over half a million copies in the US alone. Janet has a total of 21 gold singles. Nasty is a top 3 hit from the Control CD.
On one lazy Friday morning, the US Secretary of State paid our little office a visit.It was a historical occasion.
Everyone was excited. We were all asked by Human Resources to wear smart casual for the meet and greet.A town hall meeting was set at 10 o’clock in the morning. Raft3r had an appointment with a client at the same time. Work had to be a priority. I wanted to meet Hillary. Raft3r wanted to ask her questions - not about the economy or US foreign relation policies - but about Monica and Bill. I needed to see her lose her cool like she did in Congo.You have to hand in to Hillary, though. She knows how to speak her mind.My favorite Secretary of State is Colin Powell. He founded America’s Promise. Mr. Powell is also good friends with Janet Jackson.Post Script: State Of The World is a track from Rhythm Nation 1814 which produced seven top 5 singles in the Billboard Hot 100, a record unsurpassed until now. Rhythm Nation 1814 sold more than 14 million records worldwide.
