Thursday, October 28, 2010

Fright Night

Marriage is far more terrifying than Halloween.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Don’t believe everything you hear.

The truth of the matter is Raft3r ain’t vain.

In fact, I don’t even have a mirror in my room.

How else can I explain myself every time someone asks, “Nagsuklay ka ba? (Did you comb your hair?)”

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Stuck On You

Guilty pleasure is defined as something that you shouldn't like, but like anyway.

These are mine:

1. The Vampire Diaries;
2. Anything Marian Rivera;
3. Entertainment Weekly;
4. Pinoy horror movies;
5. Miley Cyrus' The Climb; and
6. Bon Jovi.

No explanations. No apologies. No judgments.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Waking Up In Vegas

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

How come Raft3r’s previous trip to Sin City wasn’t as adventurous as the one depicted on The Hangover?

Consider the following:

1. Marriage to a stripper;
2. A tiger trapped inside a hotel villa;
3. Mike Tyson singing along to a Phil Collins’ hit;
4. Stun gun demonstration;
5. A majorly pissed and totally naked Chinese gay guy;
6. Fat Jesus; and
7. Case of the missing groom.

…And where’s the masturbating baby when you need him?

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I Think I'm Paranoid

I no longer feel comfortable parking my other car in any public place.

Carnapping does that to you.

Paranoia kills.

I was in Davao for work.

Our security office did not allow me to step outside of the hotel, even for meals.

I was confined to the four walls of my hotel room because Davao is a high risk place.

Our office even hired local police to escort us.

Paranoia kills.

Every time heavy rain starts to pour, I immediately stock up on batteries, water, and Doritos.

Ondoy does that to you.

Paranoia kills.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Flavor Of The Month

Move over Leighton Meester. Your contract is up.

Raft3r has a new crush and her name is Nina Dobrev.

My new apple of the eye is the star of the hit TV series "The Vampire Diaries."

The girl is hot as hell.

If only she has a video snacking on pasta, then Leighton will be permanently erased from Raft3r's memory.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

Karma sure knows its way around town.

Just a few months ago, Raft3r was lambasting Justin Bieber.

Today, I’m constantly being teased about my new haircut.

In other people’s eyes, Raft3r is now a 34 year old Justin Bieber wannabe.

Karma just bit me in the ass.

Boy, does it hurt.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Eat Pray Love

Lessons to live by:

Eat like a king.

Pray with all your might.

Love like it’s the only thing that matters.

Monday, October 4, 2010

The Impossible Dream

Which is harder to imagine?

A balding man with curly bangs or Raft3r finally willing to commit.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Stop This Train

Never thought I would use the word wet and John Mayer's name in one sentence.


I just did.

Dunno if it was the rain or the music but I was on a definite high that evening.

Post script: Mr. Sheik, please don't be mad. You are still Raft3r's guitar god.