Letter To Me

I’m 42 and I still don’t have a clue.
I don’t have a goal.
I don’t even have a motto in life.
I really don’t.
I can’t say that I’m lost, though.
I got enough money stashed somewhere.
I have a job that I don’t hate.
I travel around the world.
I don’t feel empty.
But I don’t know why I’m here.
Do I have a purpose?
What motivates me?
I am at my happiest now.
Yet somehow I feel undeserving.
A woman, I met, changed me.
In a lot of ways, she changed me.
She changed my life.
I may not know a lot about stuff.
But I do know that I am appreciative.
I am grateful for life.
I am grateful to be alive.
I am grateful to her.
Still I wonder.
Do I deserve happiness?
Do I deserve her?