Saturday, December 25, 2010

Family Affair

I love my family to pieces.

But spending an entire day with them is just plain exhausting.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I Drove All Night

One more thing not to be jolly about this Yuletide Season: traffic jam.

Nonetheless, Merry Christmas to all the cool readers of The Deadbeat Club!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A Little Less Conversation

Raft3r: "I'm heading to Taipei next month."

Mom: "Which girl are you taking?"

Raft3r: "I'm going with friends."

Mom: "Oh."

Raft3r: "A week prior to our Hong Kong trip is Janet's concert."

Mom: "Also in Hong Kong? Don't tell me you're watching. You just saw her show in California. It's a waste of money, if you ask me."

Raft3r: "Yes. And why not?"

Mom: "Because she's a has been."

I will not be speaking to my mother for the next couple of months.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Deep Inside Of You

A very dear family member is sick.

The relative is a source of strength and inspiration.

To see a person who is strong and independent deteriorate right before your very eyes is unsettling.

This is why I avoid most hospital visits.

Raft3r put on a brave face and pretended not to care.

It was business as usual.

When I got home, I broke down and cried - something I have not done in years.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Mona Lisas And Mad Hatters

My first Blu-ray disc.

Yes, Raft3r finally made the big switch.

Monday, December 13, 2010

32 Flavors

1. I like vanilla ice cream.
2. I do not like Boy Abunda.
3. I like money.
4. I do not like ube (purple yam).
5. I like kissing.
6. I do not like getting up too early in the morning.
7. I like Eugene Domingo.
8. I do not like
chicken afritada.
9. I like lechon (suckling pig).
10. I do not like procrastinating.
11. I like bacon.
12. I do not like crowds.
13. I like Marian Rivera.
14. I do not like donuts.
15. I like make up sex.
16. I do not like Kris Aquino.
17. I like sleeping.
18. I do not like pirated materials.
19. I like laughing.
20. I do not like Valentine’s Day.
21. I like my full HD television.
22. I do not like scooters.
23. I like going to concerts.
24. I do not like backstabbers.
25. I like horror movies.
26. I do not like it when it rains.
27. I like Blu-ray discs.
28. I do not like chocolates.
29. I like surprises.
30. I do not like Glee.
31. I like The Deadbeat Club.
32. I do not like getting old.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Employee Of The Month

A few years back, Raft3r was asked by his then boss to join the panel of job interviewers.

The group consisted of Raft3r, a Pinoy supervisor, and an American boss.

The interview process went on smoothly until the last applicant appeared.

Raft3r's boss: "Raft3r, what do you think of the last applicant?"

Raft3r: "I think she's hot."

I saw the face of my Pinoy supervisor froze and the jaw of my American boss dropped.

Post script: The hottie is now a regular employee at the office. I would like to think that it was my precious declaration that got her the job.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

These Hard Times

Raft3r has 25 godchildren.

Buying presents for every single one of them is the quickest way to bankruptcy this festive Holiday Season.


Saturday, December 4, 2010

I Kissed A Girl

Smooching is probably God's greatest gift to mankind.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

My Only Wish

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy for the past 334 days.

I solved a crime.

I paid off my debt.

I have been honest.

I worked my ass off.

I only have one wish this Christmas.

I need a front row ticket to Janet's 2011 World Tour.

I deserve this, Santa. Don't you think?