Dear Ex #1,
They say one never forgets their first time. I can attest to that.
Our two week relationship was a testament on how commitment phobic I can get.
Dear Ex #2,
It was nice meeting you.
But breaking up with you was even better. Having a female stalker was a huge ego booster.
Dear Ex #3,
You were my soul mate. You accepted all my flaws. You were always there for me.
That freaked me out.
Dear Ex #4,
To this day, no one can top what you gave me for my birthday.
I apologize for dumping you right after that.
Dear Ex #5,
I felt like a dirty old man when I was dating you. I was in college. You were in high school.
Asking me to help you out with your homework was the last straw.
Dear Ex #6,
Our relationship was like a roller coaster. And everyone came along for the ride.
Dear Ex #7,
For once in my life, I can say I dated a model.
I can also claim I once went out with a bulimic.
Dear Ex #8,
We almost got hitched. You were the first girl I ever said “I love you” to.
I was smitten.
Thank God I finally came to my senses.
Dear Ex #9,
You were probably the nicest girl I have ever met.
You do not deserve me. I am sorry.
Dear Ex #10,
We always had fun. That was the trouble.
Dear Ex #11,
I never really loved you anyway.
Dear Ex #12,
I don’t kiss and tell.
Post script: Now who can say men have such lousy memory?