Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Twenty Foreplay

Wifey once said, “Relax. It’s just sex.”

1. Whisper sweet nothings to her.
2. Role play.
3. Slowly stroke her thighs.
4. Bubble bath.
5. Striptease.
6. Nibble her ears.
7. Sensual massage.
8. Play with her belly button.
9. Watch erotic movies together.
10. Lick whip cream off each other's bodies.
11. Blindfold her.
12. Play with her babies using ice.
13. Tease her endlessly.
14. As background music, listen to Janet’s “Anytime, Anyplace.”
15. The tongue is a great communicator.
16. Caress her knees.
17. Kiss her like it’s the only thing that matters.
18. Rough it up a bit.
19. Tell each others' fantasies.
20. Read her a funny post from The Deadbeat Club. (Trust me. This one really works!)

Post script: Twenty Foreplay is the second single from Janet’s first greatest hits album, Design Of A Decade, which sold more than ten (10) million copies worldwide.

46 comments:

atticus said...

talaga namaaan. naglulumandi!

i love number 17.

number 20? iniisip ko pa. bribe me, bribe me.

wait said...

number 15 : D

ganns said...

I'm a little scandalized. :p

Raft3r said...

atticus, Mahal ka eh. Di ko afford. Hehe

wait, Yeah! Apir!

ganns, Tamed na tamed nga ire eh. Hehe

The Scud said...

best post ever. :D

Random Student said...

Kailangan pala may ice. Baka p'deng mentholiptus na lang he-he! Sabagay kanya-kanayang kinks... Mukhang supported ni The Scud 'to for M.O.R.E. Awards' Most Sensual Post ha-ha!

Raft3r said...

the scud, Nyahaha. Salamat, salamat. Hehe

random student, Medyo mahapdi yon. Baka masampal ka. Hehe

prinsesamusang said...

here's a tip: some girls don't appreciate the sweet nothings when getting busy. plus, that can be used against you the morning after you know?

and don't tell me you're reacting to the mentholiptus thing from experience? LOL

gillboard said...

haha... salamat sa tips... try ko nga gawin kung work yung 20... tas sasabihin ko sayo... hahaha

Wendy said...

Aba,PG-18 yata tayo ngayon a! Natawa ko sa ice. Baka magnumb sa lamig. LOL

Liz said...

Bwahahaha, sabi ko na nga ba at me punchline eh.

Oo nga, ang landi ng post na ito! :)

Raft3r said...

prinsesamusang, We say nice things to girls to get them into bed. Yun lang naman yon, eh. Hehe

gillboard, Naku. 100% epektib yan! Hehe

wendy, For adults only yata. Nyahaha

liz, Nyahaha. Dapat may punchline. Baka ma-censor tayo ng todo-todo, eh. Hehe

Fine Life Folk said...

Prinsesamusang is very wise. *gong sound effects* thou shall not say now what you don't want to be held accountable for the morning after. Siguro you can come up raft3r with a list on safe sweet nothings, 'yung tipong 'di magiging somethings the next day he-he! May Damita Jo song ba for that?

Raft3r said...

fine life folk, Meron. Si Janet bahala dyan. Hehe

len said...

My goodness! All the way ma-promote lang si Janet. hehe

Raft3r said...

len, All the way talaga. Hehe

prinsesamusang said...

precisely the point. alam naman namin yun eh kaya what's the use right?

@fine life folk: love the gong effect. LOL

RaYe said...

#4. shempre dapat clean muna pareho bago maglaro.. di ba? ehehe

ung napanood kong hentai, i/o whipped cream, vanilla ice cream.. wuhahah

Raft3r said...

prinsesamusang, Nyahaha. Pero pinapatulan nyo pa din. Hehe

raYe, Favorite ko ang vanilla. Nyahaha

eden said...

ice, ang lamig parang nakaka turn off..hehehe

have a nice day

Lawstude said...

Tease her endlessly.

Ah panget, bakekang, mukhang mumu beeeeeh. Lelong mong panot...

Will this work?

Raft3r said...

eden, Hindi naman bloke ng yelo gagamitin eh. Isang cube ng yelo lang. Hehe

lawstude, Nyahaha. Ganyan na ganyan. Hehe

pete said...

ito na siguro ang pinakamatino mong naisulat dito

Raft3r said...

pete, Nyahaha. Salamat!

atticus said...

i can't believe the comments from the guys. haha!

@scud, best post ever? anyamet. hahaha!

@lawstude, that's not going to get you lucky. ibang teasing. hehe.

and i agree with prinsesamusang. keep it safe. keep it focused on the moment. don't make promises about tomorrow. that's bound to get you into trouble if you don't mean it.

Raft3r said...

atticus, Naku. We don't even think about what happens in the morning. Trust me. Hehe

hitokirihoshi_kawaii said...

19. Tell each others' fantasies.

baka naman pag ginawa ko ito, atakehin sa puso yung love life ko. buhahaha.

matindi ang mga fantasy ko, madugo.

and hindi ba mas okay para sa mga PT ang 7, 3, 16, and 18?

(binasa mo ulit no?!buhahaha)

Raft3r said...

hitokirihoshi_kawaii, Hindi kaya! Memorized ko na ito! Hehe

Anonymous said...

oooohh! 15 for me! hahahaha! I don't think I can take the ice nor the whip cream!!..I might get in trouble if I do no 20...ask pa niya kung ano o sino yung deadbeat club..di lalong yari! hahahaha!
babes

Raft3r said...

babe, Try it. Nyahaha. Ayos ang yelo! Hehe

Judayski said...

i love 19 of them. hulaan mo na lang yung isang ili-leave out namin. ahahaha!

annyeonghaseyo! :)

Raft3r said...

judayski, Yun tungkol sa yelo. Nyahaha

Jerick (the former Curbside Puppet) said...

ano bang nag-provoke sayo na isulat ito? hehehe.

Raft3r said...

jerick, Sheer boredom. Hehe

wait said...

# 10 - very fun and exciting! Haha

Raft3r said...

wait, Nakakataba yan! Nyahaha

Andy said...

"12. Play with her babies using ice."

-> Ano yang "babies" na yan? Hindi kaya magmanhid yung mga yun sa yelo? Eheh.

Raft3r said...

andy, Di naman. Di mo naman ibababad, eh. Hehe

cookie said...

insight from a woman's perspective:

first line: the word relax won't even pop out of a woman's head when it is her first time to be in a sexual attachment. c'mon, a man who will not be satisfied from his woman will definitely find someone who could do so

point 1: words may sound powerful, yet, trying too hard can be a little awkward sometimes, specially when you're talking with someone who is still one of the "untouchables"

point 2: in the field of psychology, it is a fact that each and every person builds in a mask that will show off his or her role playing skills when already in the limelight of his or her everyday routine. thus, role playing to have sex would be too much for a box office task in our everyday

point 3: then what? probably, you can consider the word " WARNING"

point 4: bath and body? probably in the philippine setting, this won't be that appropriate since most of the motels or hotels are not offering a room with a bathtub specially when you are below the budget

point 5: carmen elektra could probably be of assistance (vcd available at P150 at record bars nationwide)

point 6: probably, you can keep the emergency hotline closer

point 7: even before you finish massaging your lady, your body will now be enveloped with sweat which would be a NO NO for a physical contact and you will probably give up and sleep after since you have already given your energy to massage her

point 8: some ladies have piercings in this area. be careful

point 9: be sure that it won't be too much or too boring for both sides

point 10: consider bubble bath before doing so in order to remove unwanted particles

point 11: memorize the emergency hotline! i am not kidding!

point 12: it's not fair! not fair! so unfair!

point 13: OA. redundancy check

point 14: speaking of promoting janet. all over again.

point 15: charade anyone try "pinoy henyo" instead

point 16: probably, you can be more prepared. try to rent the ambulance instead of calling them for emergency

point 17: saliva attack? mouthwash could be the X factor

point 18: considering "hazing" styles?

point 19: now that's fair

point 20: amongst the others, this is what i really love

love love you cookie!

- just keeping my promise. :)

Raft3r said...

cookie, Nyahaha. Mas mahaba pa ang comment mo kesa sa blog post ko! Hehe

Jella said...

Ang tanong, nagawa mo na ba naman lahat ng twenty foreplay na sinasabi mo, hahahaha.... (,")

Raft3r said...

jella, You know better than that. ;P

Lara said...

Ano ba yan ang laswa. Alam ba yan ng nanay mo

Raft3r said...

lara, Nyahaha. Approved ni ermats yan. Believe it or not. Hehe

Dorm Boy said...

I will try....




all!!! =)

Denoy Eusebio said...

dorm boy, Yehey! Post mo sa blog mo ang outcome. Hehe