Monday, October 29, 2012

TikTik: The Aswang Chronicles

With modern age comes technological advancements. 

In 2012, you can now destroy and kill an aswang (ghoul) with Boy Bawang.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Why Did I Get Married?

Just for the sake that someone would personally handle my wake and funeral, I will get married.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Of all the young artists around, Taylor Swift has my respect. 

She's both cute and talented. 

Taylor certainly speaks her mind and is not afraid of the consequences. She is very gutsy

Unlike most men, this girl has balls. Massive ones. And they are probably even hairy.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Saints And Sinners

The Philippines is a predominantly Catholic country. Over 81.03% of the population are Roman Catholics. Yet only 2 saints are Filipinos

On the other hand, a dismal .40% of Japan's total inhabitants are Roman Catholics. But they have 27 saints

That's quite strange, huh? 

I guess there is really no strength in numbers.

Friday, October 19, 2012

I Knew You Were Trouble

We just started lying to each other. 

That confirms it. We are in a relationship.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Hold On

There are just some things you carry over from your childhood. We hold on to them for various sentimental reasons. 

When I was younger, I had a thing for Cyndi Lauper. To this day, she still has a soft spot in my heart. 

Raft3r's best friend has a 22 year (and counting) fixation with Wilson Phillips

So tell me. Who is your teenage dream? 

Wanna know my mom's? It's Chuck Norris.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

50 Ways To Say Goodbye

Why bother with 50 ways to break up with someone? 

Guys can sum this up in just one easy step. 

Want the best way to say goodbye to your lover? 

Simply disappear like a ghost. 

It's a piece of cake. Any man can teach you how to do this.

Sunday, October 7, 2012


Raft3r has a million look-alikes. 

It appears that my face has launched a thousand bills in the Senate, sold numerous Cornetto ice cream cones, and appeared in several Bong Revilla movies

And yes, the comparisons can be quite annoying. 

Who would want to be compared to a legislator, a commercial model, and an actor? Well, not me. No frigging way. 

A few days ago, I had my picture taken for an office ID. It was a mugshot. 

I was in shock when I saw the photo. I looked exactly like my deceased uncle. 

That scared the shit outta Raft3r.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Live To Rise

With the Cybercrime Prevention Act of 2012 (RA 10175) in full swing, netizens are now more cautious of what they post online. 

The Deadbeat Club will NOT be silenced. NEVER.

Raft3r might just be the first person to be penalized and imprisoned for sarcasm

Lord, help me.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Of All The Things

Nagmumurang kamatis (acting too young for one's age). 

This is probably the best way to describe this romantic comedy flick. 

But I to have to give credit where credit is due. 

The on-screen chemistry between Atty. Pulpol/Umboy (Aga Muhlach) and Mandu Berns (Regine Velasquez-Alcasid) is undeniable. They are, after all, the Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan of Philippine Cinema (so I've heard). 

Raft3r has the following realizations after watching the movie:

1) John Lapus, the gay sidekick, has all the good lines;

2) Wife is different from wipe;

3) Eugene Domingo is ALWAYS a scene stealer;

4) Failure is never an option; and

5) Lawyers and fixers are almost one and the same animal. Both are equally dubious and conniving.