Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Mirror Has Two Faces

(Raft3r excluded) there is a growing number of men who are so into themselves.

In any public restroom, I have noticed a lot of guys spending so much time looking at themselves in the mirror. I thought only women do that sort of thing.

There is a huge difference in wanting to look presentable and just being vain.

Men who spend considerable time in staring at their reflections - from every possible angle - never ceases to amaze me.

By the way, checking yourself out in the mirror just not actually change how you really look.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Teenage Dream

In Katy Perry's Manila concert, Raft3r was surrounded by numerous prepubescent girls and several gay men.

I felt so outnumbered. But it was so much fun!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Straight Outta Hell's Kitchen

Is having an ugly baby a curse?

I'm afraid mine would be one just because I like to ridicule others.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I Am Number Four

The Deadbeat Club is now on its fourth year!

The following are just some of the memorable lines in the past 365 days:

I really just don't care.

My Sony Bravia is such a thing of beauty I could practically marry the bitch.
How dumb am I that I can be duped by my own flesh and blood?

McDonald's tastes good anywhere in the world.

A beautiful and expensive wedding does not make a happy marriage last

T-Bag has nothing on Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear.

For a change, I did something good for myself.

As God as my witness, I will never fly budget again.

Love is spelled J-a-n-e-t.

Nothing like a bevy of beauties with dark underarms to ruin an otherwise
perfect vacation in paradise.

Cursing is a good stress reliever.

Don't take me too seriously. I don't.

Though walking is a good form of exercise, it also works out one's appetite.

The one thing I detest most in the world is a coward.

Smile. Life is awesome.

Why are most dogs cuter than their human owners?

Only in Mali Bay will you find unscrupulous people who would be interested in a half breed and sell it for a profit.

Whenever I run into a 70 year old man holding hands and being affectionate with a 20 year old chick, I see love.

I believe a lot of people are suckers for love.

I just don't have the heart to summon someone to take my order and bring me my drink when the waiter is way shorter than my 7 year old niece.

Raft3r's two favorite words: "Malapit nako. (I'm coming.)"

I live a very sad life these days.

Am I really that butt ugly in person?
(Right Track Wrong Train)

Not every Filipino likes Charice.
(Learning The Hard Way)

For more than two years, I have gone commando.

But can there be love without sex?
(Sex And Candy)

Kung gigising ako ng ganon kaaga, dapat ako ang bayaran nila.
(Run This Town)

I don't care much for most humans. But I love all dogs.
(All Dogs Go To Heaven)

You are delusional if you think you can change me.

A 35 year old man being accompanied by his mother to a doctor's appointment is just plain embarrassing.

Besides, death extinguishes debt.

Now that you found an scapegoat in everyone's favorite bitch, may we know what your next move is?

A man in red underwear is a sight for sore eyes.

Happiness does not normally equate to righteousness.
(If It Makes You Happy)

Watching a 60 year old lady eat a hotdog on a stick and seeing her lick it is just plain disgusting.

How do you politely tell the proud parents that their child looks like a monkey?

I miss smashing your face.

Can I just ask out your officemate on a date to lessen her worries?

When a man, who you hardly know and is not even your friend, sends you text messages about his whereabouts and even tells you that he is on his way home, what does that mean?

Mistakes are there for a reason. But I don't think they are made so you can become the butt of all jokes.

Instead of idolizing panty-less celebrities, cocaine sniffing socialites, and an ungrateful starlet, our youth should emulate Janela Lelis of Malinao, Albay.

You don't need a partner to be complete.

How does it feel to have someone who you can't live without?

My childhood musical hero was Milli Vanilli.

I will never run after an ex.

When does love turn into an obligation?

The scariest film of all time is Titanic.

Raft3r is now - officially - a commuter. This means the stress level is twice as high and the urge to hurt or (let alone) kill someone has almost become uncontrollable.

I don't like being tagged in Facebook.

Bakit hindi ba ako magbabayad! (Am I not a paying customer!)

Tongue or no tongue?

Like any other merchandise from the Lopez Empire, No Other Woman is nothing else but pure hype.

Why are relationships so full of drama? Why can't we just have fun?

So the next time you open your ignorant American piehole, get your facts straight.

No one disrespects Raft3r and gets away with it.

I dunno anyone who goes to a buffet just for the salad.

Gloria's present predicament - by far - has more twists and turns than your usual telenovela.

Man hating won't get you anywhere.

I will be a better man for you.

Raft3r has been 80% nice and only 20% naughty this year.

Unlike most of Raft3r's dates, Siri always delivers and never disappoints.

If she ever decides to do porn, now that is classy.

I am the guy who will marry for all the wrong reasons.

In a split second, relationships can turn tragic. That is why I choose to remain single.

Time is a bitch. You can never have it back.

Indeed, recession has finally hit home.

If Unkabogable Praybeyt Benjamin (so they say) is the highest grossing local film of all time, what does that say about the Filipino movie-going audience?

Don't recycle. Never date the same person twice.
(Single Me Out)

Post script: Click here for last year's quotes.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Something To Talk About

It's nice to pretend.

Most of the time.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

All Falls Down

It's January and no travel plans have been made.

Nothing has been set in stone.

This is alarming. Since by this time, my family should be in Hong Kong. We always celebrate my niece's birthday there. Always.

In 2011, Raft3r traveled like a mad man. Sadly, that won't be the case for this year.

Armed with a limited budget, 2012 will be very boring.

Besides a winter trip to Colorado, I have nothing else.

Indeed, recession has finally hit home.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Say What?!

If Unkabogable Praybeyt Benjamin (so they say) is the highest grossing local film of all time, what does that say about the Filipino movie-going audience?

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Hit Me On Twitter

To tweet or not to tweet?

That is the question.

With the impending end of The Deadbeat Club, Raft3r is looking for an alternative way to keep his online existence afloat.

I opened a Twitter account awhile back just to follow Janet. But I have never gone around to using it.

A lot of friends have commented that my one-liners would fit in nicely with Twitter.

Still, I am undecided.

I have one valid concern.

I'm afraid people will not follow me.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Single Me Out

Single life is anything but boring.

Let me count the ways:

1. Don't recycle. Never date the same person twice.

2. You are in control. No one can tell you what you can and cannot do.

3. Enjoy a drama free existence.

4. You have full financial freedom. (Walang entrega.)

5. If you screw everything up, the single life is not for you. Marry right away.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Three Wishes

Three things to accomplish in 2012:

1. New job;
2. New car;
3. New Apple toys to play with.