Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Art Of Romance

How do know you are in a relationship?

It’s when the sex dwindles.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Is It A Crime

People of the Philippines v. XXX

Criminal Case No. T6-10-0556 for Carnapping (Violation of RA 6539)

XXX may be a smooth criminal. But Raft3r is one smooth operator.

Let’s get ready to rumble!

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Friend I Once Had

My heart is now filled with hatred.

I no longer recognize the face I see whenever I look in the mirror.

Raft3r is gone.

I’ll never be the same again.

Friday, June 18, 2010

My Monster Mom

Meet the mother from hell.

Scene 1

Raft3r: “How long has the car been in your possession?”

Monster Mom: “Oh, just recently.”

When it was the prosecutor’s turn to ask, monster mom changed her story.

Prosecutor: “How long has the car been in your possession?”

Monster Mom: “Since last week of January.”

Whatta liar.

Scene 2

Monster Mom: “Makonsensya ka sana, Raft3r. Sinira mo kinabukasan ng anak ko!” (“You ruined my son’s future. You have no shame.”)

Raft3r is the victim here. Why should I feel guilty in pressing charges against someone who stole my car?

Scene 3

Monster Mom: “I will just pay for the months that car was in our possession and we’ll call it even.”

Fair? Really?

See you in court, mom.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

All By Myself

On June 05, Raft3r headed straight to Tagaytay after work.

I only had one mission for this trip: to capture my carnapper.

Thanks to a friend and Facebook, I was able to nab the address of my alleged Picanto stealer.

Without any police assistance, I decided to pursue the bastard.

On my way to his house, I saw Junjun driving the opposite direction. I immediately took a sharp turn to follow him.

The chase was on.

He parked. I waited.

When shithead got out of my car, I knocked the wind out of him.

I started shouting to gain attention. A guard intervened and I asked him to call the police.

It seemed like forever for the popo to finally arrive.

Junjun is now under police custody and the schmuck detained.

Then, it dawned on me. I just caught a thief - all by myself.

No police. No friends. No family.

I did it all by myself. No shit.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Conversation With A Devil

This is a faithful blow-by-blow account of a phone conversation between Raft3r and the police officer in charge of his missing car.

Raft3r: “Sir, I now have a suspect in my carnapping case.”

PO2 Kapalmuks: “Paano ba magpunta US?” (How do I get a visa to go to the States?)

Raft3r: “Sir, his name is XXX.”

PO2 Kapalmuks: “Paano nga magpunta sa US?” (Again, how do I get a visa to the US?)

I immediately hung up.

Friday, June 11, 2010

New Miserable Experience

An eight in the morning appointment with local police authorities actually means an hour later.

And if you are really lucky (like Raft3r), your country loving policeman will arrive at the precinct wearing casuals and will take another thirty minutes to put on his uniform.

When the police officer was finally ready to proceed with our meeting, he had nothing new to offer. The car remains missing and the police certificate my insurance company is waiting for is still eons away from being processed.

If their mandate is to serve and protect, how come Raft3r feels so violated and unsatisfied?

Post script: This occured prior to Raft3r's fist fight with the carnapper.

Monday, June 7, 2010


This is the hand of a fighter who smashed the face of his alleged carnapper.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Experiment In Terror

I almost wet my pants upon seeing this poster. Let the countdown begin.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


For the past month, Raft3r spent only seven days at the office.

Now, don’t get excited.

I did not go on an African Safari nor climbed Mt. Everest.

Raft3r was not on a vacation leave rather he was on the road, working.

Yes, I now adhere to the traveling salesman lifestyle.

On the first week, Raft3r was in Batangas and Cavite. Week 2 was Bacolod. Dagupan and Baguio were the next destinations for the third week.

The entire experience was tiring.

Raft3r was so exhausted that on the seventh day he rested.