All The Right Moves

Some dating tips, Raft3r style: 

Never fight in public. 

Don't allow your partner to go through your wallet and cellphone messages. 

When apart, no monitoring of each others' exact whereabouts. 

Avoid too much public display of affection. 

No disclosure of Facebook and Twitter passwords to your significant other. 

If she doesn't swallow, she ain't worth keeping.

How Stella Got Her Groove Back

A gentleman's advice to women who were wronged by their ex/es:

1. Never think it's all your fault. It never is.

2. Don't turn into a bitch. Man hating won't get you anywhere.

3. Never lose sleep over a heartbreak. We don't.

4. Don't over analyze. When we say "It's not you. It's me," we really mean it.

5. Get out more. The right man or woman would come along shortly.

Politics Of Kissing

Tongue or no tongue?

Born This Way

A man is set in his ways.

You are delusional if you think you can change me.

...But Seriously

Don't take me too seriously.

I don't.

Mean Girls

The ten women men should avoid at ALL cost:

1. Naggers;
2. Gossip girls;
3. Drama queens;
4. Clingy types;
5. Label whores;
6. Bilmoko girls (The Material Girl);
7. Bimbos;
8. Know it alls;
9. Backseat drivers; and
10. Those who don’t put out.

Precious Declarations

Raft3r’s rules on dating:

1. Never let the girl pay for dinner.
2. Kiss her good night.
3. Don’t mention your ex.
4. Listen.
5. Make her laugh.
6. Be the perfect gentleman.
7. Carry a mouthwash.

21 Things I Want In A Lover

1. fantastic kisser;
2. never nags;
3. romantic;
4. likes to experiment;
5. laughs a lot;
6. plays tennis;
7. decent conversationalist;
8. good dresser;
9. non-committal;
10. game for anything;
11. enjoys bubble baths;
12. sexy armpits;
13. eats like Leighton Meester;
14. has a wild side;
15. music lover;
16. likes it nice and slow;
17. drama free;
18. loves to cuddle;
19. filthy rich;
20. nice set of teeth; and
21. swallows.

21...Ways To Grow

1. Learn to laugh at yourself.

2. Be carefree.

3. Try everything once.

4. Pick up a new language.

5. Join Facebook.

6. Be grateful.

7. Get rid of negativity.

8. Spend some alone time.

9. Travel.

10. Pray more.

11. Learn a new sport.

12. Get silly with kids.

13. Stop making excuses.

14. Conquer your fear.

15. Think outside the box.

16. Let go of the past.

17. Spend less.

18. Practice altruism. Bayanihan rocks!

19. Listen to music. Janet Jackson is awesome.

20. Free yourself from hatred.

21. Visit The Deadbeat Club regularly.

Post script: Happy birthday, Babe! This post is entirely dedicated to you.

Never Say Never

Raft3r will never:

- Have hair highlights;

- Be debt free;

- Stop collecting anything he fancies;

- Lose faith in my country;

- Rely on Wikipedia for credible and accurate information;

- Pay for sex;

- Lower my standards; and

- Run out of ideas. (FYI: I think I just did.)

Waiting In Vain

A true test of love is patience – at least, for Raft3r it is.

If a girl can make me wait for at least two hours in order for her to get ready for our date and I won’t get pissed, that is a pretty good indication our relationship can last for a minimum of six months and subject to renewal.

Me, Myself And I

Raft3r can’t bear to be alone.

I can’t eat in a restaurant by myself.

I won’t be caught dead going to a party without a date.

While some are comfortable with the idea of watching a movie by themselves, I can’t bring myself to do that.

I can’t go to the mall without company.

I won’t travel by myself.

One is such a lonely number. But being alone is the TRUE test of how strong a person is.

Hate That I Love You

The Rihanna-Chris Brown lover’s quarrel has been hogging the headlines for quite sometime now.

It was only a couple of months back when these two love birds sang their hearts out in Manila.

Just recently, a picture of a heavily bruised Rihanna surfaced all over the net. It was pretty disturbing.

Raft3r is not a big fan of physical abuse towards women.

I do not understand how some chicks can take a beating from the men they love. When a guy turns Manny Pacquiao on you, take that as a clear indication that something is definitely wrong with your relationship.

Take the hint and dump the bastard.

As for those so-called macho women bashers, I have only this to say: Picking a fight with a girl is very unmanly.

That doesn't sound too macho now, right?

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

Day 1: Talk about your ex.

Day 2: Make him wait for at least three hours.

Day 3: Call him every five minutes.

Day 4: Introduce him to the family.

Day 5: Hint about getting married.

Day 6: Start nagging.

Day 7: Pretend you’re pregnant.

Day 8: Watch a Julia Roberts movie marathon with him.

Day 9: Bond with his mother.

Day 10: Hold the sex.

He's Just Not That Into You

Listen up, single ladies.

You want honesty? You got it.

Here are the basic rules to finding out if a guy is not really interested in you:

1. He never calls.

2. He never keeps his promises.

3. He never means what he says.

4. He never replies to your text messages.

5. He never shows interest in what you do.

6. He always makes excuses.

7. He always has something more important to do.

8. He always says he’s busy.

9. He always on the prowl for the next conquest.

10. He always says no.

Mona Lisa Smile

When I was having my passport picture taken, I was politely reminded by the photographer that smiling is now prohibited by the Passport Division of the Department of Foreign Affairs.

I couldn’t believe what I heard. But I was also informed by a colleague of the same thing. Apparently, smiling distorts one’s facial features making them harder to distinguish.

Sadly, I obliged to the no smile policy. I wasn’t comfortable with it. Raft3r always smiles in front of the camera. It's a trademark.

Although after having met Pookee, a model wannabe, I learned to pout – Zoolander style.

While waiting for my turn to have my passport renewed last Friday, I amused myself by watching the video prepared by the passport office.

The video makes it a point to state that although smiling is not prohibited, only a Mona Lisa smile is encouraged. But that’s just a smirk, right?

So above photo is Raft3r’s version of the Mona Lisa. Right now, Da Vinci is rolling in his grave. For the record, I'm not too crazy about it either.

Would I Lie To You?

The fact is everyone lies. Some are just not as good as others.

Raft3r is a terrible liar.

I cannot lie to save my life. You can actually see in my eyes if I’m not telling the truth. Pinocchio has nothing on me.

So to all I had previous relationships with, rest assured I never lied. I just didn't love you enough.

I recently read an article on how job seekers tend to lie about basic details on their resumes. Almost 20% lie about their previous employments and/or academic backgrounds.

This is a bit alarming since it reflects on how bad our economy is. People are willing to misrepresent themselves to get better paying jobs.

You can’t blame them for trying, though. Times are hard. We do what we can to survive.

Rules Of Engagement

Being the obsessive-compulsive freak that I am, I just have to make certain ground rules in blogging.

Hence, this list:

1. Each post will be named after a song or a movie. As an added bonus, anyone who could name the artist/actor of said song/movie wins a coffee date with Raft3r.

2. To protect the innocent, all persons - including exes, current flings, significant others, friends, family members, and foes - shall NOT be named and may only be referred to as him, her or it (as the case may be.) Death is the only exception.

3. Topics would range from personal matters to the most bizarre happenings in my life. Yes, I was once abducted by aliens.

4. Comic relief is a required element in writing.

5. I am allowed to stretch the truth.

Post script: The Deadbeat Club is my favorite B-52’s song. It was also the name of my column in a college journal. Old habits really die hard.