Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Little Of Your Time

Dealing with Philippine government agencies is always a hoot.

Of course, Raft3r is being sarcastic.

This is The Deadbeat Club, after all.

Due to a recent incident, I had way too much personal time with Philippine bureaucracy.

You often hear horror stories about government employees. Raft3r can attest to that now.

Are government employees trained to be such arrogant bastards?

Not only are you obligated to wait for hours to get a chance to speak with any of them, you also get to experience their world class customer service.

Hey, government workers! It wouldn’t hurt to smile at your customers. Nor would it be such a burden to make eye contact with them.

It is tax payers’ money that put food on your table. The least you could do is try to be decent.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Mean Girls

The ten women men should avoid at ALL cost:

1. Naggers;
2. Gossip girls;
3. Drama queens;
4. Clingy types;
5. Label whores;
6. Bilmoko girls (The Material Girl);
7. Bimbos;
8. Know it alls;
9. Backseat drivers; and
10. Those who don’t put out.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Why

Why?

Why is there hunger?

Why do we discriminate?

Why is there pain and suffering?

Why are some people extremely poor while others are filthy rich?

Why is there addiction?

Why do we equate success with money?

Why are there haters?

Why does jealousy exist?

Why are people judgmental?

Why is there injustice?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Erase/Rewind

Holy Week was the perfect time to catch up on all the DVDs I have bought and never bothered to watched.

Yes, Raft3r is a hoarder and is mighty proud of it.

With movie snacks by my side, I gathered all my still sealed DVDs and decided which one to watch first.

It gave me a headache just thinking which movie to start my marathon with. So I decided to go the easy route.

Raft3r ditched his unwatched DVDs and headed to revisit the entire Friends series.

You see, I am a creature of habit. It’s Raft3r’s safety net.

I don’t mind watching the same things over and over again. I have no qualms in eating the same meal for long periods of time. I can travel to the same places numerous times and never get bored.

There is something about doing an established routine that is very comforting.

Don’t you agree?

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Eurotrip

Guess who’s going to Europe?

It’s not Raft3r. Bummer.

Two of my officemates are off to Rome, Italy for training.

Oh, to be in their shoes.

I know. I have nothing to be jealous of. I have been sent to the US for three months, after all.

But come on.

This is Europe we are talking about. Everyone, if given the opportunity, would love to go there.

It has always been my dream to treat my mom to a European vacation. She deserves it.

I have sent her to trips all over Asia. But it will take time and a lot of money to take my mom to Europe.

Raft3r will now have to work Saturdays in order to finance his mom’s trip. He is also now considering accepting those long standing indecent proposals.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I Am So Ordinary

1. I do not eat veggies when mixed with meat and/or poultry.
2. I can re-watch any episode of Friends and still laugh my ass off.
3. I do not like chocolates.
4. I am an impulse buyer.
5. I do not share my problems with anyone.
6. I write 10 blog posts a month.
7. I snack on ice cubes.
8. I am big on fruits.
9. I do not use condiments on my meals.
10. I will never pay for sex.
11. I pick my nose while driving.
12. I have an ongoing love affair with Calvin Klein for almost a decade.
13. I detest self-help and/or inspirational books.
14. I always get mistaken for someone else.
15. I have a cute butt.

Friday, April 9, 2010

From Hell

Raft3r is one lucky son of a bitch.

After losing a car, the case of the missing ATM card followed.

I accidentally forgot to retrieve my card after withdrawing cash. I only realized my mistake when I was already driving. I went back and the card was gone.

Raft3r immediately called the bank and inquired if any unauthorized transactions were done with my account. Fortunately, there weren’t any.

Bad luck seems to be my on side these days. It’s lucky I haven’t been hit by a bus or run over by a train.

Wait.

What makes me think that hasn’t happened yet?

Raft3r might just be blogging from the afterlife. I heard hell is a WiFi hotspot.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I Love You, Man

Raft3r’s male heroes:

• Lolo (Grandpa);
Patrick Rafter;
• Elvis Presley;
Michael Scofield;
• Duncan Sheik;
Brad Renfro;
• Jerry Maguire;
• Marc Cohn;
• Joey Tribbiani;
• Nick Hornby; and
• Hannibal Lecter.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Super Size Me

Okay, Okay.

Ring the alarm.

Raft3r just had a quarter pounder with cheese sandwich, 5 pieces chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce, 2 large french fries, a caramel sundae, and 2 large sodas - ALL these in ONE sitting.

Five days of fasting down the drain.

This can't be good.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fools Day

Raft3r is a certified prankster.

When I was a kid, I loved playing dead. I would sprawl on the foot of the stairs. Pour catsup on my mouth. Act like I fell. My grandparents were my favorite victims. They were punk’d all the time. It was a blast.

I once fooled a friend to thinking I got my girlfriend pregnant. Her concern was through the roof and it was quite alarming. She was almost on the verge of tears when I told her I was just joking. She almost slapped me.

Raft3r placed a telephone call to a relative and asked for bail. I mentioned I was in a city jail for drunk driving. She was willing to cough up the money and that she was on her way to pick me up. I immediately hung up.

Humor should be part of our day to day lives. Laughter is good for the soul - especially if done at the expense of others.