Together Again

Wifey's back!

Raft3r just purchased Janet Jackson’s new CD, Discipline.

I’m so stoked!

I was like a kid in a candy store! I have been waiting for this like crazy.

Still hurting from disappointing album sales since her nipple exposing performance in 2004’s Super Bowl Half Time Show, Discipline is aimed to put her back on top.

MTV, who ironically crowned Janet as their first Icon, banned her and refused to play all her videos since the wardrobe malfunction.

Even US radio, stopped playing her songs.

Justin Timberlake, the coward who tore off her costume, survived the scandal without a scratch.

He went on to host several MTV events, gained some street cred and sold millions of records.

Janet, an African American female artist, was singled out as the perpetrator.

I am not alone in saying that her gender and race were contributing factors to this fallout.

America is still harsh and less forgiving to minorities. 

For instance, Madonna has definitely done worse and yet she is still TRL material. Being white certainly has its privileges.

Four years later, MTV is kissing Janet’s ass.

They are definitely making amends. They are now promoting my wife’s new material. She has recently appeared on TRL. 

The video for her new single Feedback is on heavy rotation. Janet is currently MTV’s Artist of the Week.

With more than 100,000,000 albums sold worldwide, Janet is one of the top selling artists of all time.

You can never put a good woman down.

So Unsexy

There is nothing sexier than being down with the flu.

Anyone with a runny nose and hoarse voice is a sure turn on. I’m kidding, of course.

I have been under the weather for the past couple of days. 

It’s frustrating. My bed has become my new best friend. I have lost my appetite and probably a few pounds, to boot.

With nothing to do but rest, I became easily bored. I couldn’t even surf since our WiFi provider was down. Tough luck, I know.

After my doctor’s appointment, I decided to head to the mall. I was going about my business when I ran into someone I used to go out with.

I panicked. Particularly since I looked like shit. Still feverish, I didn’t even shower. With unkept hair and an unshaven face, I felt awful. Mom would have been proud.

I had two options. Run the other direction or have the balls to greet her.

Before I could decide, she approached me. She was gloating. She knew I was by myself. The ex was with someone who was not even particularly good looking.

But she clung on to him as if dear life depended on it. With all the clinging action, she somewhat reminded me of the Philippine tarsier.

We always have this perfect idea on our minds that when we run into people from our past, we would have the upper hand on things. That we are with a hot date and you’re ex is flying solo. That you are damn sexy looking and your ex now resembles a cow.

These are things that would confirm that your break up was her loss and not yours.

Yet the gods abandoned me on that day. The girl won hands down. I went home feeling more sorry for myself.

I hate being sick. It sucks.

Bitch

Needless to say, the Philippine President has been having a rough time.

A governor and close friend just called her a bitch, in front of a group of professionals. That doesn’t bode well with the image the President wants to project.

However, most feminist movements now consider the word “bitch” as empowering. 

Gone are the days when being tagged as such has a negative connotation. These days, bitches are viewed as women who are strong and successful.

Newly ousted House Speaker described the nation’s leader as ungrateful. Talk about burning bridges.

Not too long ago, a Cabinet Official named the President as evil. The source is the star witness in the ZTE deal who tears up in an instant, like one of our beloved local soap stars.

I think the term “evil” is too strong a word to use for such a diminutive female leader. Then again, big things come in small packages.

So whose side are you with, the Bitch or the Cry Baby?

We should not resort to name calling. It reflects poorly on how we are as a Nation.

Unwritten

Raft3r's handwriting is terrible.

In fact, I could put doctors to shame due to my deplorable handwriting. You do know what people say about their penmanship, right?

I would get deductions in my exams because of my poor handwriting. Law professors would often comment on my penmanship. My test booklets would often be annotated with "write legibly." So by now, I would pretty much assume I have made a strong case on how bad my handwriting is.

But that wasn’t always the case.

Back in grade school, my penmanship was impeccable.

I would get high grades on my writing class. My strokes were off the hook. Needless to say, I was often voted as class secretary because of my perfect handwriting. Teachers would ask me to write their lectures on the blackboard.

So what happened?

A jealous classmate declared, “You write like a girl.”

After knocking the wind out of him, I made some pretty drastic measures with the way I write. I intentionally made my handwriting more masculine by making it butt ugly.

Now I suffer the consequences. I can longer get back my beautiful handwriting. I’m stuck with something most people can’t bear reading. Masculinity has claimed another victim.

Post script: Much love to Passport #1 for the inspiration. You are my muse for this post.

Upgrade U

Here’s the trouble with gadgets. They get old pretty fast.

Due to today’s technology, your latest toy may be considered uncool in a flash. It’s that crazy.

Consider the iPod Touch.

I bought mine the minute the 16GB version came out. Now the 32GB is upon us, with probably the 80GB and/or the 160GB already in the horizon.

I wanted to bang my head against the wall for being such an impulsive buyer. I should have waited. Damn it!

PCs and laptops are probably the most victimized gadgets for upgrades. The MacBook Air is absolutely stunning. I wouldn’t mind making love to it.

One week after I bought my Compaq Presario, its latest incarnation came out. The new version came with a built in webcam. There is no justice in the world.

Mobile phones are no exceptions.

My wallet is already itching for the ultra hip iPhone.

New mobile phones come out practically every week. I even have a friend who changes her unit every month. Either she has an extremely high credit card limit or she is just plain nutty.

I dunno about you. But Raft3r can't wait for the next BIG time to arrive!

Breaking The Girl

A family member spent her Valentines Day with my ex.

Obviously, that would make a good ingredient for disaster.

I have completely forgotten about that girl. Until the family member texted me and claimed she was with my ex. I ignored the SMS message and continued on with my day.

The next day at breakfast, the family member had a funny smile on her face. I was on my first pancake, when she started to chat away.

Apparently, I was the hot topic of their conversation last night. That was expected, right?

However, what she spilled almost made me choke. 

My ex was all praises about me. She said that I was kind and considerate. I couldn’t believe what I've heard.

My ex claimed I was such a good boyfriend that we hardly had any arguments. I knew this wasn’t true. 

In fact, all I can actually remember about our relationship was the turmoil.

I guess, my ex decided to take the high road and not speak ill of me. That’s truly admirable. I don’t think I could have acted the same way, if I was in her shoes.

But then again, I’m not one to talk.

Sick Sad Little World

I was just out with friends a couple of minutes ago.

We headed to the Mall of Asia for the Travel Expo. This is an annual affair that my friends and I go to religiously.

Our group, obviously, loves to travel. But we have never been on a trip together. Go figure.

I was particularly interested in securing accommodations for my upcoming Holy Week adventure in Palawan.

Since I got in late, I already asked one of my buddies to collect some pamphlets for me.

The place was packed with people. Everyone loves a good bargain.

After two rounds of going through the entire maze of booths, I finally found my friends. I noticed several students in uniforms were also in attendance.

This brought back lovely memories from last year’s Expo.

Backtrack to 2007. Travel Expo, Megamall.

I was there with the same set of friends. I was minding my own business, when somebody pitched my behind. No kidding.

I do have a cute butt. Former office mates and college buddies would attest to that fact.

I am the male J-Lo. There was even a time, I was thinking of having my tush insured.

So I turned around to see who the culprit was. I saw two high school girls giggling and running away from the scene of the crime.

Instead of feeling abused and objectified, I quickly told my female buddies about it. They appeared to be uninterested.

But I was proud as hell.

My First Night Without You

There is such an unspoken love between men and their toys.

I am totally in love with my iPod Touch!

I got mine last year and we have been making sweet music ever since.

But over the weekend, we had a spat. In fact, it was our first lovers’ quarrel.

I turned on my iTunes. With blaring music, I updated my artworks. I noticed I had two entries for the same song in my library. So I decided to erase one.

I hit the delete button in my laptop and the system did not respond. I decided to again click delete and the unimaginable happened. 

My iTunes froze!

Panic stricken, I pulled the USB plug of my beloved gadget.

With my laptop rebooted and the iPod hooked, the artworks I was tediously working on for an entire day disappeared!

I cursed and wept like an unrequited lover. Similar to all my relationships, past and present, it is flawed.

I called Power Mac, its service center. They weren’t much help. Not only were they hard to contact, the person I spoke with knew almost nothing.

Perfect. I was back to square one.

I manually tried to rearrange my artworks. That didn’t work either. I am now thinking of reformatting my iPod.

Gadgets are like women. They are both temperamental.

Gadgets, just like women, are also expensive to keep.

Manic Monday

This is my 7th year working and I must admit I’m dead tired.

I am tired of doing the same things over and over again.

I am tired of smiling at familiar faces I meet in the hallways every single day.

I am tired of coming to work early in the morning and coming home late in the evening.

I am tired of answering the same frigging questions asked by clients 240 days in a year.

I am tired of doing same ole report for my boss all the time.

Going to work now is just a routine.

It almost feels like clockwork.

But the funny thing is given another day, I would gladly do it all over again.

Freaky Friday

And the winners are...

(Drum roll, please.)

Congratulations to Ganns and Abie! They are our two lucky recipients of T.G.I.Friday’s gift certificates!! Thank God, it’s Friday indeed!!!

Thank you to everyone who participated in our little promo. Don’t fret. There are more exciting things happening in the upcoming months. So stay glued.

Happy weekend, guys!

Teaching Mrs. Tingle

My grade school music teacher scares the hell out of me.

To this day, just the thought of her brings back nightmares. Ask my classmates. Our music teacher was one hard pill to swallow.

I remember coming to music class every Wednesday afternoon with my heart beating crazy fast. Hearing my music teacher’s high strung voice was enough to send shivers down my spine.

Back then, I saw her as the Devil’s mistress. 

She would make us sing several Broadway tunes and the stomach turning Somewhere Out There. This last song was always done with a duet partner. Oh, the horror of it all.

What made it worst was when she would publicly humiliate you.

“You’re tone deaf! Sit down,” yelled the music teacher. 

To the delight of my classmates, I was the target of most of her outbursts. I would often come out of music class with my pants wet.

Fast forward to 2008, all the emotional abuse I received in music class has certainly paid off. 

I am now a karaoke champ. My rendition of the Air Supply classic All Out Of Love always scores a 100%!

Post script: Last I heard, our infamous grade school music teacher has moved to the Middle East and now terrorizes the kids there. Alarm Al-Qaeda.

The Best Things In Life Are Free

Here’s a fun treat for all The Deadbeat Club readers.

Raft3r is giving away 2 T.G.I.Friday's gift certificates worth P500 each!

They are now up for grabs and all you have to do is read the mechanics below.

In order to qualify for the promo:

1. Speak your mind on Serve The Ego;

2. On The Best Things In Life Are Free, give one adjective that best describes The Deadbeat Club;

3. The two coolest comments win;

4. Deadline is on the 8th.

Start posting. 

Cheers!

Serve The Ego

We just hit the 300 mark!

That’s more than 300 hits for The Deadbeat Club in less than a month.

Congratulations to all of us! Not that numbers matter. Just the thought of people being interested in your work is a reward in itself.

Never thought blogging could be this enjoyable. 

Every night, I look forward to visiting my blog and reading all your comments. Text messages from friends, who refuse to post their comments online, are also fun to receive. 

Thank you, guys. I have the coolest readers on the web!

It means a lot that most of you can relate to the stuff I write about, regardless of how silly my stories can be sometimes. 

I take pride in the fact you spend time going through my blog. I can just hope that The Deadbeat Club makes it worth your while.

Maybe I should start giving away prizes or something. That’s brilliant, right?

I also received a lot of flak about my gigantic picture. Blame it on me. I don’t have any decent computer skills, to begin with. Remember, this comes from a guy who only bought a laptop so he can have his own iTunes library.

Raft3r has more funny stories to tell, more interesting anecdotes to share, and more secrets to reveal. 

I’m in this for the long haul. Hope you are, too.

The Cure

Probably one of the greatest inventions of mankind is movie making.

There is something to be said about going inside a dark place to watch other people’s lives unfold. Voyeurism is such a thrill.

My favorite move of all time is The Cure.

It’s a small Hollywood movie that was released in the mid nineties. It’s a heartwarming coming of age story.

It starred the late Brad Renfro and that kid from Jurassic Park.

Renfro also starred in The Client. Despite his young age, Renfro was such a sensitive actor. 

It’s too bad that a life of violence, alcohol, and drugs took the better of him.

Life offers us choices. But it’s always a gamble. You win some and you lose some.

For many of us, we go through life choosing the wrong path and trying to make amends in the process.

In Renfro’s case, it was way too late to make one. He was 25 years old.

The Game Of Love

Anyone who has ever gone on a blind date would agree that it is one nerve wracking experience.

The fear of meeting a total stranger, who might turn out to be a total psycho, is one of the worse feelings in the world.

Being the single guy that I am, my friends would often arrange dates for me. This has gone on for ages. 

My first blind date stands out the most.

It was with a college chick.

My friend said, “Dude, call her. She’s fine.” That’s exactly what I did and ended up setting our first date. I hurriedly told my friend about it.

“Hey, she’s no babe. She’s butt ugly,” my friend finally confessed. 

This was the night before our big date. I wanted to kick my friend in the nuts. 

Apparently, he thought it would be hilarious if he set me up with Frankenstein’s sister. My friend laughed his ass off.

I was punk’d. Big time.

With no valid excuse to back off, I showed up at my date’s school the following afternoon. 

Minutes before we met, I heard girls scream from behind. Then, she appeared. At that time, words failed me.

She took my arm and said, “Hwag kang bibitaw. (You’re not going anywhere.)” I obliged.

Despite her physical misgivings, she was funny and generous. She paid for lunch.

Like with most dates, I called her afterwards and said how much fun I had. We never saw each other again.

Post script: The friend who introduced me to her is now dead. Someone pushed him off the stairs. Urban living is dangerous.

50 First Dates

My first date was in Shakey’s Greenbelt.

I met the girl through my one of my cousins. She was very cute. So I started paging her.

Yes, those were the days. When texting was still a thing of the future and paging was the latest craze.

After lunch, we headed for the movies. 

We watched Disney's Beauty and the Beast. The movie was jam packed with kids. My date and I started to get cozy when she placed her head on my shoulder.

That’s when it happened. 

Kids from the back started heckling. “Ang landi naman nyan (That girl’s easy),” they chorused.

My date started to feel uneasy. So I put my arms around her and assured she wasn’t the class tramp the kids were pertaining to.

The heckling grew louder. So we had to leave halfway through the movie. That bummed me out. How else would I know if Belle would get it on with the Beast, right?

But beyond the animated flick, a new real life love story was flourishing. 

It appeared I did good on my first date. She said I made her feel safe. She gave me a good night kiss while we waited for manong (driver) to pick her up.

Our love story lasted for a full seven days after that. We were the sweetest couple. Ah, the joys of high school flings.

How did yours go?