Monkeys For Nothin' And The Chimps For Free

Raft3r's long weekend was spent in Subic.

We only had one item on the agenda: to look for monkeys.

My posse and I searched high and low for these now elusive creatures.

Only to discover that the only three monkeys in Subic were those riding in Junjun.

Wild As A Turkey

Bring out the turkey.

What Raft3r is grateful for:

1. kindness of strangers;
2. decent job;
3. music;
4. newly restored Google page rank for The Deadbeat Club;
5. humor;
6. promise of a new day;
7. Black Friday;
8. YOU.

Happy Thanksgiving, boys and girls!

I Don't Want To Be Your Friend

Anyone who knows me personally can attest to how much I love anything Calvin Klein.

Even my kikay kit (man purse) and umbrella are from Calvin Klein. Pretty macho, eh?

Yes, Raft3r is a brand whore and for very good reason. Since I seldom shop for clothes, I need stuff that can last a lifetime. Sir Calvin does that for me.

When a friend recently loaned me his CK leather jacket for my upcoming winter travel overseas, I was floored.

I promised to return the item when I visit him in the summer.

The jacket looks so good on me. I am now more than willing to sever ties with my buddy.

Raft3r no longer cares. That jacket is mine. All mine. (Insert evil laughter here.)

Fast As You Can

On my one hour lunch break, I saw the buttcrack of an overweight middle aged woman and an unshaven armpit of a sleeveless shirt wearing chick.

A lot can happen in 60 minutes.

Never Say Never

I never tasted Zagu.

I never enjoyed listening to heavy metal music.

I never read any Harry Potter book.

I have never been to Europe.

I never leave the house without doing a number 2.

I never liked adobo.

I never quit.

I never owned a Voltes V toy.

I have never been debt free.

I never enjoyed Disney movies.

I never sleep fully clothed.

I never liked Will Smith.

I never read lengthy blog posts.

I never stopped watching porn.

Here Comes The Bride

Raft3r never liked weddings.

That's already a given, right?

So when a friend of mine got hitched a few weeks back, I did not want to attend.

But I'm sure glad I did. Not only was it a chance to wear my Calvin Klein suit, the event turned out to be a fun wedding.

The happy couple danced to Usher's OMG while the bridal entourage strutted their stuff on the red carpet. The celebration was a bit unconventional until the parents did their obligatory remarks.

Despite the bride's numerous accomplishments, my friend's only goal in life was to be married and raise a family. She even has a life book to attest to this fact.

Now that she had her civil status changed, what is left for her to do?

Plenty, I say. Methinks she is ready to put a new spin on domestic life.

Being friends with her is a good balancing act. Her positive vibe on relationships is the perfect antithesis to my unwillingless to commit.

Taking a cue from her wedding vow, here's hoping that Raft3r could be someone's hearthrob - forever.

Cheers to the newly weds!

The Things We've Handed Down

Raft3r loves the smell of brand new CDs.

Wait.

Is it just me?

Call me old school but nothing compares to the excitement of heading over to a record store to check out new releases from your favorite artists.

Raft3r has now resorted to buying music online via iTunes.

Though its convenience is hard to beat, buying music online lacks the thrill of browsing over racks and racks of music CDs.

The closure of one of my revered hangouts - Virgin Megastore - was hard to accept.

If HMV follows suit, that might just be the final bow.

It's also sad to think that those so-called pirates are now laughing all the way to the bank.

The Awakening

As much as Raft3r loves to sleep, nothing beats getting up the morning after.

A brand new day signifies a fresh start.

You may sometimes experience a bad day but tomorrow always brings a new beginning.

Wishful Thinking

Raft3r believes that:

• Scooters should be banned from major thoroughfares.
• Men who beat up women are sissies.
• Respect should not be demanded but earned.
• Gold digging chicks are the worst.
• Marriage is not for everyone.
• Hypocrisy is the deadliest sin.
• Compromise is bullshit.
• Girls love funny guys like Raft3r.
• The Deadbeat Club is a must read.

Song For The Dumped

I have lately been spending a lot of time with someone.

Some call it exclusively dating.

One night she asked me, “Where is this relationship heading?”

I never wanted to give her false hope. She knew from the start what I was made of.

She knew it was coming.

I had to turn away and let her go.

She was a very nice girl.

What is wrong with me?