Why Can't It Be

Why men can't be women:

1) Given our raging hormones, we will always be pregnant;

2) We are insensitive;

3) We are way too hairy;

4) We are sloppy and immature; and

5) We hate Oprah.

Post script: #4 is partially lifted from a line in Friends, Season 7. Unlike Senator Sotto, Raft3r likes to cite his sources.

Fast & Furious

In life, you don't always get what you want.

(Most of the time) life hands you things that annoy the hell out of you.

I always wanted a brother - someone I could talk to about girls, sports, and sex.

Instead, I was given a sister.

This was probably the reason why I never learned to open up.

I dunno what lead to this introspection.

But I do know that I needed a new blog post. And I needed it fast.

I Write Sins Not Tragedies

I will never EVER be good for you.

Please consider this as your last warning.

Post script: Musang, a very good friend, has featured Raft3r on her blog. Check out the sexy interview here. It's good for a laugh or two.

Remember The Time

The year was 1997.

At that time:

1) Raft3r graduated from college;

2) Spice Girls was the biggest act in music;

3) Titanic played to sold out movie crowds around the world;

4) Mother Teresa and Princess Diana died;

5) Janet Jackson's Together Again became a huge global hit selling over 6 million copies;

6) UK turned over Hong Kong to China; and

7) Mike Tyson became an ear biting maniac.

Up Out My Face

Among family and friends, calling someone ate (older sister) or kuya (older brother) is a sign of respect.

But among total strangers and for you to call me kuya - when you look a decade older than me - is downright insulting.

Suntukan na lang tayo!

Post script: Happy birthday, Laieesha! Have a good one!

Bourne Legacy

Some random thoughts on the 4th installment of the Bourne Franchise:

True to form, the Philippine National Police is portrayed as a slowpoke.

The love story between the lead characters is a bit contrived.

Where the hell is Jason Bourne?

Manila is the best place to culture viruses.

Edward Norton has Nene Pimentel eye bags.

Chicago, Maryland, DC, Virginia, Bangkok, and Palawan are a few of the movie locations that Raft3r have been to.

It's funny how an impoverished Filipina can accuse a Caucasian woman as a thief.

The Philippines is the real star of the movie.

We Break The Dawn

Isn't it a breath of fresh air when the girl plays the bad guy?

Ain't that right, Kristen Stewart.

Say goodbye to your Hollywood career.

The Healing

Top 10 things Raft3r learned from the latest Chito Rono horror flick:

1) You'll get a doppelganger when you subject yourself to a healing;

2) Star Cinema's Special Effects Team needs extensive training;

3) What Ate Vi wears on the set sets the tone and motif of the scene;

4) Finding a logical connection between healing and evil spirits can be quite a stretch;

5) Robert Arevalo's character is the perfect representation of myself when I turn 75 years old;

6) Members of the police force are non-insurable;

7) Seth is the typical Pinoy mom - loud, over the top, and always in control.

8) Doppelgangers can be electrocuted;

9) Stay away from crows; and

10) Yes, Ate Vi knows how to Skype.

Art Attack

The male form is definitely not aesthetically pleasing to look at.

There are just way too many things dangling.

Anything But Down

For the past 10 days, the only thing that remained constant in Manila was the heavy downpour.

The rain, just like a nasty rash, simply refused to go away.

The city was once again submerged in flood water.

Properties were damaged. Lives were lost. Classes suspended. Offices closed. Earthquake. Landslide.

But like with everything else handed to us, this recent incident will be taken with a grain of salt.

Pinoys will find humor in everything - even in tough situations.

We will get through this, as always.

It would take more than a bad weather to dampen the Filipino Spirit.