Three Hits

Hooray, The Deadbeat Club is now three years old!

In keeping with tradition, below are some of the memorable quotes from the past twelve months:

Why do people continuously find new ways to humiliate themselves? (American Dreamz)

But he has never been successful at killing himself. After all, he is still alive. (Live Like Were Dying)

Besides, work took much of my time and the little precious moments I had left were spent either sleeping or eating lechon. (Where Do We Go From Here)

Yes, life is unfair. Deal with it. (All Eyez On Me)

February is the best time to dump someone and get it on with a new fling. (Sweet Surrender)

Ok. So Raft3r is fat. Now back off. (Other Side Of The Door)

But that’s how life is sometimes. It just goes around in circles. (Circle Of Life)

I have never given much thought on the color of my nipples until that moment. (Maybe You Have Been Brainwashed Too)

Humor should be part of our day to day lives. Laughter is good for the soul - especially if done at the expense of others. (April Fools Day)

I heard hell is a WiFi hotspot. (From Hell)

I have a cute butt. (I Am So Ordinary)

There is something about doing an established routine that is very comforting. (Erase/Rewind)

Are government employees trained to be such arrogant bastards? (Little Of Your Time)

I felt my balls shrink by the second. (What Happened To That Boy)

After all, we just elected a President based solely on his parents’ credentials. (It’s The End Of The World As We Know It)

My favorite mistake is YOU. (King Of Sorrow)

There is nothing scarier than seeing a grown man singing along to Justin Bieber tunes. (Blame Canada)

White trash is big business these days. (Muse)

This is the hand of a fighter who smashed the face of his alleged carnapper. (Hands)

Then, it dawned on me. I just caught a thief - all by myself. (All By Myself)

See you in court, mom. (My Monster Mom)

Not only was it difficult putting up a front, two timing also doubled Raft3r’s dating expenses. (Two Timing Touch And Broken Bones)

Seriously, what is it with women and their affinity for John Lloyd Cruz? (Fell In Love With A Boy)

I’m damaged goods. (Broken By You)

I will break your heart. (The Difficult Kind)

So this is how it feels like to be an adult. (Close Encounters Of The Third Kind)

Living in a third world country sure has its perks. (Storm Front)

There is no shortage of deodorant in stores but no one seems to be using them. (I Can See Clearly Now)

Why would someone deliberately fart at me? (The Place We Ran From)

Never thought I would use the word wet and John Mayer's name in one sentence. (Stop This Train)

Paranoia kills. (I Think I’m Paranoid)

Marriage is far more terrifying than Halloween. (Fright Night)

Hypocrisy is the deadliest sin. (Wishful Thinking)

You may sometimes experience a bad day but tomorrow always brings a new beginning. (The Awakening)

I never read lengthy blog posts. (Never Say Never)

Smooching is probably God's greatest gift to mankind. (I Kissed A Girl)

When I got home, I broke down and cried - something I have not done in years. (Deep Inside Of You)

One more thing not to be jolly about this Yuletide Season: traffic jam. (I Drove All Night)

I love my family to pieces. But spending an entire day with them is just plain exhausting. (Family Affair)

I do not know why I have an underarm fetish. (Don't Know Why)

Post script: Wanna step back in time a little more? Here are the 2009 and 2008 one-liners.