I Am Number Four

The Deadbeat Club is now on its fourth year!

The following are just some of the memorable lines in the past 365 days:

I really just don't care.

(Call Me Irresponsible)

My Sony Bravia is such a thing of beauty I could practically marry the bitch.

(Technology Is A Dead Bird)

How dumb am I that I can be duped by my own flesh and blood?

(Idiot)

McDonald's tastes good anywhere in the world.

(Universally Speaking)

A beautiful and expensive wedding does not make a happy marriage last

forever.

(An Ideal Husband)

T-Bag has nothing on Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear.

(Even Better Than The Real Thing)

For a change, I did something good for myself.

(Cool Change)

As God as my witness, I will never fly budget again.

(Lost And Found)

Love is spelled J-a-n-e-t.

(Come On Get Up)

Nothing like a bevy of beauties with dark underarms to ruin an otherwise

perfect vacation in paradise.

(Another Day In Paradise)

Cursing is a good stress reliever.

(Deeper Underground)

Don't take me too seriously. I don't.

(...But Seriously)

Though walking is a good form of exercise, it also works out one's appetite.

(These Boots Were Made For Walkin')

The one thing I detest most in the world is a coward.

(Death And All His Friends)

Smile. Life is awesome.

(Finally Made Me Happy)

Why are most dogs cuter than their human owners?

(Who Let The Dogs Out)

Only in Mali Bay will you find unscrupulous people who would be interested in a half breed and sell it for a profit.

(Taken)

Whenever I run into a 70 year old man holding hands and being affectionate with a 20 year old chick, I see love.

(It Must Have Been Love)

I believe a lot of people are suckers for love.

(Affirmation)

I just don't have the heart to summon someone to take my order and bring me my drink when the waiter is way shorter than my 7 year old niece.

(All The Small Things)

Raft3r's two favorite words: "Malapit nako. (I'm coming.)"

(Come Back To Bed)

I live a very sad life these days.

(I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got)

Am I really that butt ugly in person?
(Right Track Wrong Train)

Not every Filipino likes Charice.
(Learning The Hard Way)

For more than two years, I have gone commando.
(Revelations)

But can there be love without sex?
(Sex And Candy)

Kung gigising ako ng ganon kaaga, dapat ako ang bayaran nila.
(Run This Town)

I don't care much for most humans. But I love all dogs.
(All Dogs Go To Heaven)

You are delusional if you think you can change me.

(Born This Way)

A 35 year old man being accompanied by his mother to a doctor's appointment is just plain embarrassing.

(Made For TV Movie)

Besides, death extinguishes debt.

(I'm Ready)

Now that you found an scapegoat in everyone's favorite bitch, may we know what your next move is?

(Dear Mr. President)

A man in red underwear is a sight for sore eyes.

(Temptation Island)

Happiness does not normally equate to righteousness.
(If It Makes You Happy)

Watching a 60 year old lady eat a hotdog on a stick and seeing her lick it is just plain disgusting.

(Lick It)

How do you politely tell the proud parents that their child looks like a monkey?

(Break It To Me Gently)

I miss smashing your face.

(Beware! Criminal)

Can I just ask out your officemate on a date to lessen her worries?

(Help Is On The Way)

When a man, who you hardly know and is not even your friend, sends you text messages about his whereabouts and even tells you that he is on his way home, what does that mean?

(Clueless)

Mistakes are there for a reason. But I don't think they are made so you can become the butt of all jokes.

(How It Feels)

Instead of idolizing panty-less celebrities, cocaine sniffing socialites, and an ungrateful starlet, our youth should emulate Janela Lelis of Malinao, Albay.

(Praise You)

You don't need a partner to be complete.

(Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own)

How does it feel to have someone who you can't live without?

(If I Ain't Got You)

My childhood musical hero was Milli Vanilli.

(Blame It On The Rain)

I will never run after an ex.

(Never Again)

When does love turn into an obligation?

(What's Love Got To Do With It)

The scariest film of all time is Titanic.

(Halloween)

Raft3r is now - officially - a commuter. This means the stress level is twice as high and the urge to hurt or (let alone) kill someone has almost become uncontrollable.

(Danger Zone)

I don't like being tagged in Facebook.

(I Don't Want To Live On The Moon)

Bakit hindi ba ako magbabayad! (Am I not a paying customer!)

(Mr. Brightside)

Tongue or no tongue?

(Politics Of Kissing)

Like any other merchandise from the Lopez Empire, No Other Woman is nothing else but pure hype.

(All That Glitters Isn't Gold)

Why are relationships so full of drama? Why can't we just have fun?

(Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall)

So the next time you open your ignorant American piehole, get your facts straight.

(The American)

No one disrespects Raft3r and gets away with it.

(I Wanna Be A Supermodel)

I dunno anyone who goes to a buffet just for the salad.

(Cater 2 U)

Gloria's present predicament - by far - has more twists and turns than your usual telenovela.

(Crazy Bitch)

Man hating won't get you anywhere.

(How Stella Got Her Groove Back)

I will be a better man for you.

(Tomorrow I Will Be Yours)

Raft3r has been 80% nice and only 20% naughty this year.

(So This Is Christmas)

Unlike most of Raft3r's dates, Siri always delivers and never disappoints.

(You And I Both)

If she ever decides to do porn, now that is classy.

(Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen)

I am the guy who will marry for all the wrong reasons.

(Will You Marry Me)

In a split second, relationships can turn tragic. That is why I choose to remain single.

(Troublemaker)

Time is a bitch. You can never have it back.

(SexyBack)

Indeed, recession has finally hit home.

(All Falls Down)

If Unkabogable Praybeyt Benjamin (so they say) is the highest grossing local film of all time, what does that say about the Filipino movie-going audience?

(Say What?!)

Don't recycle. Never date the same person twice.

(Single Me Out)

Post script: Click here for last year's quotes.